Some of my best memories are us at the pool, in our background in the sprinkler, at the YMCA, in the ocean, and at a waterpark. I lost my 24 year old son Jonathan 2 years ago in a fire he is my only child and after the numbness and shock wore off, I turned to food for comfort. Praying for you to find that happy place again and that your heart can heal. Believe me when I say no one wants to see that. I love swimming too much to avoid putting on my swimsuit, so I always did.
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Before kids i was lbs and since the birth of my 2nd 6. I read this article when you first wrote it and it changed my perspective and summers forever! Today I even dove off the diving board thanks to you…and it was FUN! Sincere thanks from my family! I love this article. Beauty comes in so many forms. To me seeing the pic of you playing with your kids exudes joy and true beauty. We are headed to the beach tomorrow and this made me cry tonight as I read.
I have struggled with putting on a swimsuit and going into the water my entire life. I love to swim but have steered away from it more and more since I was a teenager because of my own body image issues. I bought a bathing suit today because this year I will not sit and watch while the rest of my family enjoys the ocean without me. While I may be overweight and out of shape my kids will still call me mom no matter what.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Time to hit the beach!! Life is way too short to worry about what you look like in a swimsuit and not go out in the water and have fun with your kids.
Your kids are only little once, enjoy them while you can and go down those water slides dive in with them and splash them! Have fun life is all about having fun! This is a VERY encouraging post.. I have 3 children who are our whole world! This post is SO great, Jessica! I sit here in my hotel room at a spot not too terribly far from where you were in April. I did it today! Just jiggled all over the beach in my swimsuit with my boy and loved every minute!!! I have never had a thigh gap but have always had an athletic build that, as a teenager I was ashamed of.
Only after becoming a mother did I have confidence in how awesome my body is. Two beautiful, big babies later and one more on the way, my body is definitely softer than ever, but very strong. I was a swimmer as a kid and never have been ashamed of being in a swim suit, but this post struck me in a different way. As I read about splashing in the water I could feel my lip curl a little.
My problem is that I have forgotten how to have fun IN the pool. But my kids love when my husband gets in and runs around with them, with reckless abandon. This is hands down tge best post ive ever read! Donning a swimming costume and taking my kids to tge pool this summer for sure!!! I have a pic of me and I could swear the backdrops looks identical. Thank you for writing this.
Before them, people said the same thing about me. And now I have become the sad mom you write about on the sidelines. And truly, it is sad. It is hard, and maybe even a bit embarrassing to admit out loud how much of my self esteem relied on the positive feedback I received from other people. Being tall and thin was part of my identity. When I went to the beach before, I could feel people looking and I could feel their approval.
No one disapproves now. Just no one looks. Now I have to rebuild confidence and create a new part of my identity in this stage if life based solely off of me, and of course my sons. Identifying as a mom has been easy, but learning to live as someone who looks like they should lay off the cheesecake has not. Learning to love myself-outside packaging included-with or without the love of others is a task even larger than my pile of laundry.
Anyway, it is nice, and often necessary, to have a reminder that life is less about watching and more about living. Especially with those that I love far more than a 24 inch waist. I feel like I could have written your whole paragraph. Since having my 2 children I have had difficulty taking off the weight. But I still put on my bathing suit and enjoy my time with my kids.
Thank you soooo much for this amazingly encouraging post! I have two teenage daughters and an 14 month old baby girl and have really found myself struggling not only with bathing suits but clothes in general since the warmer weather hit this year.
Last summer I figured I had just given birth and did not worry about how I looked, but now 14 months later I feel I should have lost more Than I have. You will be glad you did:. Also available in plus size: I loved reading your post. You left off dressing up with your kids in public…. Do not let the expectations of others steal your life and happiness. Teach your kids to be happy….
And I too put on a swimsuit and run into the ocean with them. I am too busy having fun! I have extra baggage and I struggled with getting a bathing suit. My daughter is 15 months old. Do I get into my bathing suit? I go to the pool and we swim together. We go to the splash parks and run in the splash pad. She giggles and splashes, and we have the best time ever. But it is for my daughter. After a few mins I forget the stares and watch how happy she is. She is my daughter, and she is beautiful!
I tell her that everyday. This is a wonderful post and one I will be sharing! My mom was overweight growing up but she taught swim lessons, so she was always in a swim suit.
I never remember hearing ill words about my mom or anyone one else. What I DID hear was how awesome it was that mom was in the water playing with her kids! When I see scars, yup, I wonder there too. What happened and I am so happy to see them out here, living life, enjoying life….
As far as the rest of us…. I am too worried about falling out of my suit then worrying about you and yours. I have far from a perfect body but I still wear a 2 piece. I am a mom of two and my husbands work schedule is erratic at best. I also work part time. To top it off, I have MS. I overheat at the drop of a hat in a one piece bathing suit, I have found, that they are hot!
Granted, I stay in the water as much as I can to stay cool, but I get soooooo tired so fast and easily that I have to get out so often. I wear a two piece so I can stay cool enough on the beach to enjoy more with my kids. Confidence and enjoying what you have today is the most attractive trait out there! My husband told me that years ago when we were dating.
I love your story and totally agree! I am 56 and went on a weeks vacation with my two girlfriends from high school. The vacation was a blast. There were all kinds of bodies and ages of bodies and everyone looked great. I know this struggle goes beyond the beach. It is everywhere in this culture. I respect your honesty. I pray we both have strength to stand on truth and take little steps toward freedom.
However that may look. You are right—life is for living! You looked pretty in your brightly colored swimsuit. The smile is priceless! I prayed and prayed for God to bless me with a baby. After 19 years of infertility, my husband and I found out I was pregnant.
She loves being with me and I love making memories with her. I love everything about this. This was so powerful! Thank you for the eloquent reminder that we mass out on too much life by worrying about what others think of us. Amen, sisters, put on the suit, swing on the swing, ride the bike…make memories. I guarantee when you are gone your kids will relive the wonderful times over and over again and never once think about what you looked like.
Seize the day, life is too short not to. I love swimming too much to avoid putting on my swimsuit, so I always did. But I understand the hesitency. I am a mom of 4, mother-in-law of 2 and a grandma of 4 and another one on the way. I love my family and love to spend time with them at the lake or the pool. Just reading your post has given me courage to just go and play with the grandkids at the water and not care about any other peoples thoughts!
From, One Happy Grandma!! I love seeing all the discussions about this post. Both of my girls started swimming lessons at 3 months old so and I went with my very postpartum body. I have found that wearing a swim shirt takes away all of my self consciousness. I want to be the mom in the pool with them.
And I cheer on all of your moms today too. Confessing that I am still working through this issue. Seven births, four c-sections later there are sags, bags, clumps, bumps, and veins galore. My legs resemble a map more than skin. Add to that years of despising my appearance and well, yes, I am still working up to the place you are.
I do want to create happy memories for my children and be a positive image of a woman beautiful from the inside out. I absolutely love this article-such a refreshing read! My husband and I have lived in Europe for almost 3 years and I am so inspired by the women who go to the beach in their bathing suits… no matter their weight or age. Life is too short to not enjoy it! Jessica, your husbands response to you in your bathing suit chocked me up and you do radiate beauty my sister! But tragically, it makes me sad to think that many, many wives will never hear those words.
I love the truth spoken here. Not our own shaming eyes. His eyes have the power to define us. I would sadly guess this is a struggle not just in failing marriages but in some good marriages as well. So, if I may offer a thought to those sisters.
Your husbands wandering eyes do not define you. He may or may not love you fiercely but it pierces something deeply in our souls.
Please know, his wandering eyes cannot steal your true beauty. The one who sees your every thought, struggle, sacrifice and sin. And His love and eyes never wander or waver. If kids learned when they are small that skin sags and tummies bag as we get older maybe they would have a more realistic understanding of the aging process!
Thanks so much for posting this. Really powerful and inspiring. This morning I sat on the sidelines at the pool, but not because of my suit I was wearing it — the water was just too chilly for this wimpy mama! I did finally manage to sit on the top step. Here is the one I ordered, but I imagine there are lots of companies that make them: I threw it on over my regular bathing suit top and enjoyed not having to put on sunscreen — but it would help with not worrying about how you look, either!
Go find a bunch of 50 year old women and ask them! Anyway, just pointing that out! Thank you so much for this post!! I am so encouraged by your words! I am 31 weeks pregnant with my 4th child. Nearly everyday, I put on a maternity suit cringing on the inside, but smiling on the outside and take my kids to the pool. I get in and swim and splash and catch my littlest as she jumps off the side. We laugh, and have a wonderful time. What they will remember is me, being there with them!
And by the way, you look beautiful in these photos! May you make many more wonderful memories!! Thank you for this reminder!! I try to think this way every time I take my kids to the beach, the water park, or the backyard. We are only here for a short time, the kids are little for an even shorter time. I want them to remember me being crazy fun — not as someone self-conscious or unhappy with the things that matter the least!
At least not visibly. Sometimes she just wears a sportsbra and still does the shirt and shorts. Which I think is fine.
Thanks for you great and timely message. More than a year ago, while on vacation with my family to visit the Mouse I had an experience that has taken a long time to come to terms with.
In the evening after a long hot day having fun with my family, relaxing in the hotel hot tub sounded heavenly. My kids had begged me all day to join them down at the pool.
So I put on my swim suit slunk down under the cover of darkness to the pool to join the family. I got into the hot tub and was soon joined by several early somethings — two boys and a girl. The boys were doing what boys do vying for the girls attention.
I have had a tough time getting into a swim suit since then. I can always find some excuse to not fully participate. This summer I vow to push that unfortunate incident into the gone but not forgotten past, fully participate with my 3 kids who are growing up to fast and let that moment in time help me be a more compassionate person. Life is too short and too good to waste.
I needed to read this right at this moment. Always opting out to take the photo rather than in it. Sitting back to watch the bags or spot. Instead of making those memories that you mentioned. I have missed out in two years of memories.
So thank you for posting this and giving me a new outlook again. My insecurities have been a wall between my kids and hubby. Oh, I envy you with every fiber of my being. I was thinner when my children were young, but of course, no one would have ever thought I was model material — but we went to the beach and the water parks and I wore a swimsuit. I cannot ever get those days back. My family loves me — I wish I had realized it so many years ago and had enjoyed all of those days of their lives.
You know the best part about this post? I love the joy on the faces, and the fact that you are practicing what you preach. I applaud and love this!! Leaving for the beach with my 5 kids in a week…. They love me for me! I am years-old, pounds, and never gave birth to a child but am fortunate to have two wonderful children and three wonderful grandchildren from my second marriage. I was very overweight as a child, and I will never forget how much it hurt when I was laughed at for my size.
To this day, I dread the thought of wearing a bathing suit on a beach or at a pool. Thank you so much for writing this article. I plan to remember what matters most…having lots of fun in the water with my grandkids!! Thank you so much for sharing this! I came to this realization the summer my son was two. When I got back to our hotel, my hubby had to hold me while I cried buckets, and I realized that what bothered me the most was not being able to go swimming with my son.
I had an amazing mom, but she almost never went swimming with me…and that was precious time with her that I missed out on. I now own a bathing suit that fits. I have always tried to be brave and not let others, and my own, criticism keep me from making great memories with my kids. However an earlier post mentioned being in pictures with your kids. I do tend to she away from unflattering or possibly unflattering photos. This post made me think of what comfort pictures of my own mother brought me when we lost her three years ago when I was 35 and my daughter was a newborn.
We are blessed to live in an age to have this technological memory box. When I see my mothers pictures I do not see whether she was heavy or thin.
She did fluctuate through the years as many of us do. I only see the woman that was and is so dear to my life for far too few years. I also have a way of sharing memories of her with her granddaughter.
I need to let this fear go for the love of my children and future grandchildren. Besides, love is what makes us truly beautiful, not our figures. I have 3 kids and my body has absolutley changed. No matter how I see myself, I talk a different story to my kids. I told him they were my love marks because when I was pregnant with them, my love grew and grew because of that, it left a permanent reminder for me to always cherish.
Who cares about stretch marks, cellulite, extra skin, etc. God gave me 3 precious angels. They are the only 3 people that heard my heartbeat from the inside, that kicked, flipped, made my body change in the strangest ways, but above all, He gave me 3 healthy kids.
My parents took us kids to the beach every summer. They both wore their suits and all of us kids were thrilled when they came in with us.
It is probably my best memory of feeling loved by my parents. The day was about us, kids, parents and them as a couple and I loved it all. I cannonball, run off the diving board, do handstands and flips with my soft, pudgy mom-body!! And guess whose mom the kids want to take them to the pool? Not my bikini-ready friend who lays out. Something that does not resemble anything in my lingerie drawer.
Sis, I wear board shorts when I kayak, or float. That has helped tremendously with my comfort in the water. Have you tried Lane Bryant? I love their clothes. I just turned the big 6. But reading your post made me remember with a big smile holding the hands of my 3- and 4-year-old grandkiddos as we played in the ocean the other week. I may not look hot, but we sure had fun!
Thank you for writing this post. We ALL need to silence the inner voice of negativity. What bothers me the most is that the majority of the ridicule that causes our swim suit anxiety disorders come from other women! We MUST stop belittling one another and start empowering each other instead. Thank you for helping remember to just enjoy every moment with my kids! Or you could just stop eating cookies and lose weight. Why is being fat becoming an accepted thing?
First of all, Jessica is NOT fat, by any stretch of the imagination. This is exactly the sort of caustic, rude, judgmental, ridiculous comment that can keep many of us normal-sized women from wanting to put on a bathing suit. I work out just about every day. I decided about a year ago it just.
We should all absolutely take the best care of ourselves we can. But frankly, comments like yours are neither valid, nor helpful.
I was 46 when our 7th child was born. Now, she is nearly And I so treasure the times that I do it! And at times like those at the beach or the pool, I choose to let that delight trump everything else! I wear a one piece with no cover up and get laughed at all the time. My children and I go swimming at least four times a week.
Last yr my son and I dove off parallel diving boards together, danced pool side when our favorite songs came on, and just enjoyed our days together. I can care less about how I make people feel when I wear my swimsuit, i only care that my children will remember how fun their mom was. I feel sorry for those women who sit on the side lines and dont enjoy their time because they allow cellulite define them. I imagine there are SOME women that you inspire. Maybe they homeschool or work out of their home but it is lived in and messy.
You always feel welcome there. You remind me of a very warm and hospitable hostess. Just have fun with your children in and out of the water because you, like me, will be sixty something in the blink of an eye.
I cannot imagine just letting my kids have all the fun themselves! I care that my kids think that it is super fun to have mommy swimming with them. Sometimes I play with them too and other times I just want to yell-come play with your kids!
I miss way too much of it during the school year! I only wish my husband would hear this message-he constantly misses out because he is insecure about how he looks yet he weighs less than me! LOL and the kids really do love it when he comes along. Thank you thank you for this inspiring article! Bating suit season has been my personal battle every year but after reading this, no more.
From now on I will looking forward to summer and will wear my bathing suit proudly. Contrary to you I am not a young mother. As a mother of a 29 and 26 year old girls and turning 60 next year, my body is also the story of my life. Every curve and line is part of me and I should be proud of everyone of them! The softness of my body should not be frowned on but celebrated! Again thank you for your article today it made not only my day but a changing one.
I really needed to hear this. It made me cry. I plan on doing this next weekend. That just boggles my mind! People are so judgmental and as long a we allow their opinions to limit us we will always be trapped into thinking there are certain things we can and cannot do due to our body shapes and sizes.
Women need to take back their lives and embrace the body they have and stop waiting to live until they have the body they want or the body they think society thinks they should have! I have a very difficult time finding a swimsuit to fit me properly. I am not well endowed despite the extra 50 lbs so the tops never fit like they should. Why do all designers think that over weight women have large breasts?
I am more comfortable and can enjoy myself without flashing anyone or worrying about my rolls being over exposed! I love this because I have been on both sides of the equation. I had my 3 children in a space of four years, and remained 20 lbs overweight for several years. I alway wore my suit to the beach or pool, but was a bit self conscious just the same. Some women were telling me how great I looked — while I was feeling awful, weak and skeletal.
I would have given anything to have those extra 20 lbs back. I am now on a daily regimenof drugs and have adjusted my diet. I have to stay between and lbs, so I am at my ideal weight, I go to the beach now with my college and high school aged kids and I am just grateful for the time I still have with them. I go in the ocean because I really treasure each moment I have with. I spent too many years on the sidelines. When I finally went in, I shocked myself because I felt the most happy I ever felt in years!
It was so moving that I cried tears of joy! Well, I wish I looked as good as you in my swimsuit, but I am almost sixty and 50 pounds overweight. Does that keep me from wearing a swimsuit? I have a ball playing water games with my 6 grandchildren.
It encourages and inspires me! Definitely hit home with me. I have not only had a child but I have had 2 back surgeries. So this year I have been very subconscious of how I look, therefore not getting in the pool with my daughter. Thank you for your words. You are very right. I groan at the approach of Summer and hate reading articles about finding The Perfect Swimsuit because none of them help all of my problem areas! Just the other day someone asked if I was expecting another baby!
We went camping last week, and even though I felt self-conscious… I know my kids just want to have fun and my husband loves me for who I am so I sucked it up and squeezed myself into my too-tight swimsuit. I remember every single time my little brother and I went into water as a child, I would always LONG for my mom to come in and play with us. We would beg her and beg her, but she would always refuse, because she was so insecure about being overweight.
She was indeed about 80lbs overweight, so her fears were very real. But I just felt sad, because I loved my mom so much and wanted her to play with us. Now that I am an adult with two children of my own and a few extra pounds myself from two pregnancies very close together , I definitely understand where my mom was coming from and sympathize with her. But I would like to just ask the ladies that read this—put the suit on for your kids! They just want to play with you.
It is hard to try to get to a place where you step out in that swimsuit in spite of judgement, but it is so worth it. Your kids will always remember those times playing with you, I promise. Hello, I love this. I am sad to say I am a mom who just puts her feet in the water. After having my first and only daughter I Have no embrace my new body very well. Everything I knew about my body has changed.
If I really think about it I only gained 20 lbs with my daughter and was only lbs when she was born. I hope one day I will embrace my body and have confidence you women have in yours.
Thanks for the story it did hit home! My oldest and only son, died August 3, of cancer at 47 yrs old. His wife, 3 kids, another daughter and her child, are going to beach. We will have a good time, plus share stories and memories and shed tears of Stephen. I have gained weight since retiring and losing my son, but bought a bathing suit to wear.
The beach we are going to, they have all been to before, but my first time at this one. Looking forward to trip. There is no way to describe the pain one experiences when losing a child. My heart aches for you. Know that you are loved by many — if you ever need an ear to just listen, I am here. My personal email is dmpfromri yahoo. I have guttate psoriasis, spider and varicose veins in addition to the extra weight of carrying children.
I wish I could someday prepare myself for the stares of strangers and put on that suit. I live near the ocean, and wearing a dress to the beach is not fun. If I looked like you in a suit I would not even think twice about putting one on.
Thanks for the good read. I just feel so far away from throwing caution to the wind in this area. Thank you for refreshing my memory.
Thank you for helping to conjure up those memories of joyful times with my children. They are grown and will be having children of their own in the near future and I want my grandchildren to remember how much fun their grandmother was and how confident and daring she was. I WILL be all this for them and for me. At the ripe age of 40, I bought my first bikini. Do I look good in it? Not really, but I wear a big floppy hat, sunglasses and smile a lot.
I decided long ago if I was meant to be thin, I would have been a lot taller. Ok, girls, this is a wonderful sentiment. I commend all of you all. But fast forward a few years and I tell you gravity wins! You look great in your swimsuit nothing to be ashamed of! THe best memories are when we get to join in! That beach is where I grew up in Laguna Beach right? I can tell by the houses in the backdrop!
You look awesome and loved reading this! So I saw a friend post this, and just had to comment. I had no idea what the post was about, I just saw a hot woman and decided to read about it. Your gorgeous and your husband is lucky to be with you. And more importantly, your kids are lucky to have you next to them. Part of the problem for us plus size ladies is finding attractive swimsuits that we like, and fit well. They also have a number of attractive cover-ups.
I order several each year, and feel I am at least looking the best I can when I swim with my kids. Have you tried that crazy wrap thing? My now boss showed me the amazing it works products and I have lost 23 pounds since Nov my last cardiologist visit if you have any questions at all about the it works products or how you can try them please please get in touch with me, if you go to my website and scroll all the way down there is a field to file out for questions I will get back to you ASAP.
Kids love you just the way you are when you are spending time with them. How to work on the proper mindset? I know that when I see others in worse condition than myself and they seem to have no inhibitions, I am inspired. I imagine others just scoff. There are women that have undergone mastectomies, been thru scarring events like fires and surgeries, have skin issues, and they have to deal with the stares of others.
I say it to myself! I did want to say that this is not a pregnancy affliction. I have other friends that have gone thru lots of body shape changing without having children. Beautiful post and you look great!! I love this post! I am VERY petite. I was still working. Customers just thought I was chunky. Many expected me to carry heavy items down from the up stairs and would get upset when they had to wait for someone else to do it.
On an awesome note, Donna Summer came into the store and she was arguing with her guy friend. Honey, can I feel the baby?
I am embarrassed to exercise in front of anyone. I have my daughter and her kids living with me. Come on now, I understand we all can be a little fat after having baby.
But we cannot be lazy putting excuses for life. We have to be pretty women and take care of our bodies before having babies and after it. The vast majority of my friends are women, many of whom are mothers. It saddens me to listen to them lament and disclose their insecurities to me when the come to me to a nonjudgmental ear. One thing I often remind my friends or anyone who comes to me for counsel is that we should not be giving as much of the power over our lives, emotions, and decision making process to others as we are sometimes quick to do.
All we can truly control in life is how we chose to react to the situations presenting to us, so take full control of that and the heck with what some fool my think or have to say. More than your words though, I am so encouraged by the pictures you shared of yourself playing on the beach with your kids. THAT and You was just beautful! You are such a blessing to many. I am trying to come up with a saying for a chalkboard….
Put on that swimsuit and choose Joy or something….. I had a few thoughts while reading your wonderful article. There is no better exercise for older people than getting in the water and moving around. My other thought may not be as popular, but.
If you decide to wear a bikini when you have fat rolls, expect to be stared at. Those that stare in disgust are giving you the volume of attention you obviously desire. There are many bathing suit styles for all body types, and I just think it is an exercise in self demoralization to expose fat rolls in public.
I learned to love my body while living in Latin America. I was amazed how every woman walked down the beach as if she looked fabulous no matter what. Even elderly women flaunted their curves. And I saw these women carrying so much less stress than myself and I saw them as beautiful irregardless of body type simply because they believed and projected that.
After three kids my boobs hang low and my belly bulges but my confidence is greater now than when I was in my 20s simply because I choose not to let that self-doubt into my head. Do women want to be hunted by guys? If not, put on that bathingsuit, just like you are, and stop complaining when they complement the skinny woman ft from you, but not you. If you want to be in the attention of other guys, you may have personality issues that need working on, or, you could easily lose 30lbs in 3 months if you wanted it.
So many women make up excuses, but really? If you are afraid to lose weight, start looking into your nutrition, and exercise. You sure DO look pretty in your swimsuit.
I just want to highfive you for this post. I hope it reaches far and wide and resonates with every mom who is beating herself up when she looks in the mirror.
Love this post and agree completely. Fortunately with age now a grandmother I have gained wisdom and self-acceptance. True, I have lost quite a few pounds, but still weigh more than I would like; nevertheless, I put on my swimsuit gasp — even a two-piece! I just had my second back surgery in one year. God gifts us with family so we can FULLY enjoy every moment with each other, in which our culture, generation, and responsibilities take too much from as it is! We should never concern ourselves with what others think.
Only with what God thinks about us, and what He thinks in terms of us wasting the very blessings He gifts us with: Thanks so very much! Yours is a bold, truthful, and encouraging testimony! You do look beautiful in your swimsuit. And you are radiating joy and confidence because you are focused on your children and playing and laughing, not on what you think others may be thinking in a negative context. You look really good! I hope you continue in your confident stride to the beach because in doing so your beauty is able to shine forth.
Thank you for posting your thoughts…. I have two kids oldest is 4, youngest is one and last weekend I put on a bikini for the first time since high school. I was a little insecure out of the water but let myself have fun in the pool with my kids anyway. We jumped and splashed and had a great time. Sure I got stares but my kids were happy.
I have cushings disease so am 40 lbs heavier than I would like to be and have dark stretch marks everywhere but I got into a bikini and made the best of it with my kids. The insides need to match the outsides. Since transgender plastic surgery operations are covered by health insurance, I support mothers having plastic surgery covered by their health insurance companies. Transgender and other people who have had burns, scars, etc. There is no shame in wearing a swimsuit as a mom, but sometimes for some of us we feel we are in the wrong body suit entirely.
Pressure to be ok with it is like telling a person who was born a man but identifies as a woman, that they should be proud of the outside of their body and flaunt it.
Or the same for someone who was disfigured in a fire. I can get in the water, but I will never be fully present until I have my mommy body tuck. I applaude any woman who goes out to the beach or pool, but the internet has lately had a wave of women writing telling women to put bathing suits on with the goal of empowering positive body image or doing it for their kids in a way that comes off as pressuring.
There is no shame in wearing whatever to the beach or pool because you or anyone has gained fat, but if we feel not wanting to reveal the extensive scarring or sagging skin from pregnancy, then it is ok.
Our health care companies and our culture would do better to facilitate our physical and mental healing with plastic surgery and fitness instructor sessions. This is something that needs to change. Motherhood is ripe with them. Pool time is ok, not really thrilling and sort of boring honestly. The author has a husband, which supports her self image, a rock of security, so it is easier to speak of body satisfaction with a mate. I feel no shame in saying that.
Thank you so much, I needed that! I just threw out every single bathing suit I own. And I find this article unbelievably insulting to women like me. You have no idea. Your words mean nothing when she looks as good as she does. I think you may have missed the entire point of this post. If that means shorts and a tank top or tee shirt which for me it sometimes does , then YES.
No, the author is telling women to put on a suit…that is the point of this post. This woman has the right to feel uncomfortable putting on a suit when she knows her body not being firm makes her feel uncomfortable and that it will not snap back quickly.
It is refreshing for someone to not be delusional. Many woman who have children do not feel like they are in their right bodies anymore, and that is valid. The truth is, many of us would legitimately feel better and in our own bodies again, if we could afford plastic surgery.
Asking anyone to buck up and force comfort in a suit is thoughtless. This reminds me of people who put blessed, when really they are just lucky and bragging. Am I impressed this woman put on a bathing suit? Things that build self-esteem: Things that lower self-esteem: Bathing suit wearing has nothing to do with it.
That IS what this woman is saying, that wearing a bathing suit when you are fat will make you feel good about yourself and you will magically forget what you look like to others and yourself and how uncomfortable you are in the thing. I know I run faster and play more on the beach in a tank top and shorts that I know I will not come spilling out of. Even after reading the article again, I feel her intention is MUCH more about enjoying the activities involved than what she is wearing, or encouraging us to wear.
As for me, I plan to take her advice. I would encourage you to read it again to try to see it from my point of view. I dress for my body type… but more importantly I dress for ME. I can go to the beach or the pool, and go in the water, without the suit. Why is that not okay? For me, that is absolutely the spirit of this article. Oh how I needed this today! We are blessed enough to have a pool and I am the only one in my family that seems to avoid it like the plague over the last year or so!
And you know what, so was I! The first thing I noticed when I saw the photos and before reading the post was how genuinely happy you looked, not how you looked in a swimsuit.
Wonderful thoughts, I hope we can all take your advice and have some fun! Jessica, I have to say, I love this!!!!!
When I was younger I always dreaded bathing suit shopping because I was stick thin and built like a boy. Last year I found one that will cover the belly well and leave the back open. Still have the droopy thighs, but I am going to wear that suit this year if we ever get some days without rain! Your blog made me feel better about it and I just wanted to say thank you very much!!!!
I feel the same way, I am much bigger than you and I take my boys to the beach every chance I get! Just bought a suit today. Took my 13 month old to the beach last week and he never left the shore because I felt fat. I finally decided it was not fair to either of us to miss the joy of the water because of my body image issues.
Getting IN the pool. Swimming WITH kids is a joy beyond joy. Love that you put yourself out there and you spoke from your heart, a good place to live. Believe me when I say no one wants to see that.
And congrats on your pregnancy! You DO look beautiful and this post is completely inspiring and positive. I am a 28 year old straight male with a long-term girlfriend. I find this article, and the perpetual discussion about female bodies in the media, to be tragic. I am convinced that women diet not to impress men, but to impress other women. Straight men are, in my opinion, more attracted to the Scarlett Johanssen body type i. Whine all you want about putting on your swimsuit, but the men on that beach are thanking you.
You should have a front and back. Cut a front and back piece laying the pattern on the fold. In this tutorial, I lined just the front, so I also cut a front piece from the lining fabric as well not pictured.
Make sure to catch the lining as well, it can be slippery! Cut 2 pieces one for each leg opening of elastic, Sew the ends of the elastic together to make a loop. Along the front side of the leg opening, pin the elastic without stretching the elastic or the fabric. There will be extra fabric along the bum side. You will stretch this as you sew. Pin the center of the remaining elastic to the center of the bum side of the leg opening.
Sew along the edge of the elastic. Your elastic should be flush with the edge of the fabric, mine is over a little too far. Start on the front and stretch the elastic to fit when you get to the bum side. Fold the elastic to the inside and top-stitch. I used a double needle. Do the same for the other leg opening. For the ruffle, cut a strip of fabric that is 2 inches by 10 inches.
Gather along the top edge. Pin to the top of the suit and then trim along the armholes. The next step is to add elastic to the top and then enclose it. Cut a strip of fabric 2 inches wide. Using a wide zig-zag stitch, and without stretching the fabric or elastic, sew the elastic on top of the strip you just sewed. Fold the fabric over to the wrong side and pin. To finish the rest of the top of the suit and create straps, cut a piece of fabric 2 inches by about 42 inches. You want to have about 12 inches on each side that will become the straps.
So, leaving a 12 inch tail on each side, sew the strip with right sides together to the top edge of the suit, just as you did before. Then sew the elastic on top, just as before. You can see I accidentally stretched mine a little.
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